Saving Him a Seat
There’s a song called “Daily Bread,” by Elyssa Smith, and in it, there are only four lines in the whole piece. The song goes, “You are my daily bread. I never have to beg; you keep me hungry; you keep me fed.” Our Father keeps us hungry for HIM so that HE can fill us. I recognize a growing hunger in the world to be fed by Him; to experience the power, love and glory of God. Yet, where do we start? How can we be fed by the Bread of Life?
In his book Healing Care, Healing Prayer, Terry Wardle shares how we have six core longings. These longings are for love, safety, understanding, belonging, purpose, and significance. Often, our hurts and feelings come from one of these core longings not being met, whether from the past or present. So, how does this connect to imaginative prayer? Our Father desires to meet and fill these core longings in a way no one else can. Our conceptual knowledge of God does not satisfy our hunger for belonging; something deeper, something experiential needs to occur.
What this practically looks like will be different depending on who you are and your experiences. For me, I have a deep desire to belong. This has come from many times when I was left out, not accepted or considered. This lack of belonging has created a wound on my heart, one which surfaces whenever I feel a lack of belonging (whether it’s just perceived or actual). Yet, as I’ve begun to enter into imaginative prayer, I’ve found a sense of belonging, a being known, through Jesus. Now, when these situations come up, though I still can feel a twinge of hurt, my soul has begun to be satisfied elsewhere. The longing is no longer grasping for someone to fill it because it has been filled with the only one who truly can.
To whoever is reading this, if you feel discouraged or far away from knowing Him, this feeling is just that – a feeling. The fact is, you have a loving God who wants to intimately connect with you, to hear all you want to say, to spend time with you. He is right here. What I share in imaginative prayer, it’s meant for you to experience as well. Your time with the Father will inevitably be different to mine, but the point is to connect with Him, to find that your core longings can begin to be met as you enter into his presence.
Saving Him a Seat
Before I ever began to dive into imaginative prayer, I would picture Jesus in the car’s passenger seat with me. I still go back to this often, recognizing I don’t have to go to a space in my imagination but that I can experience Him in the space I’m in. Whenever I travel alone, I usually have Jesus sitting cross-legged, talking with me in my passenger seat. Sometimes he’ll hold my hand (I’m a HUGE physical touch person… Jesus only holds your hand if that’s what feels loving to you), or he’ll sit there watching me drive.
One day when I was travelling to Vancouver Island University, I felt particularly frustrated at my lack of desire to pray. I remember sharing out loud with God my anger towards my inability. I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to imagine He was here with me. “What does that even mean? What do you even look like? I mean, you are already here!” I remember saying, feeling annoyed at the ambiguity of the suggestion. Then, like a picture, the idea came to my mind of Jesus driving with me.
After this day, I would often go for car rides whenever I needed to talk to Him. In my final year of university, while transitioning to Kenya, I struggled with different heart hurts. He and I would go for drives, and I would scream, yell and cry. Because I had difficulty picturing his face at this point, it was easier to drive, and semi imagine his body next to me. Through this, I began to discover my longing to be heard, known and understood. He never interrupted; he never judged or asked the wrong question. He would listen and cry silently next to me. I started to look forward to driving and sharing my heart with him.
One defining moment in our car rides was one ordinary day as I was driving to school. I don’t remember what I was talking to Him about, but I mixed up my words and said something stupid. I began to laugh a little, and as I looked over, He was laughing too. When Jesus laughed, it made me laugh harder until we were both in stitches. It wasn’t an audible laugh in the car (I’ve never heard God audibly), but it was through my imagination. It was the kind of laugh which is accompanied by a smile that sweetly speaks, “Oh, I love all of who you are.” I think this moment stands out in my journey because I didn’t realize at the time how much God loves to have fun. He has more humour and joy than the funniest person you know. Once you begin to look for it, you’ll see it in so much of what you do every day.
Whether in your car, at your office, on the bus (matatu), in your living room, save a space for Jesus. This Christmas season, pull up a chair at the table, or even imagine him sitting next to you on the floor. Ask the Holy Spirit to sanctify your imagination, to help you focus and bring up the things He wants to talk to you about. Or don’t talk; just start by picturing Jesus as you sit around this Christmas. Especially when I am in groups, I’ll imagine Him there, smiling at me. Remember, He just enjoys being around YOU!
For more intentional meetings, you can sit facing Him or next to Him if that helps. Listen to music, instrumental/words, or sit in silence. Find the time that works for you (I love mornings, but I understand it’s not for everyone). Expect every time to look different, and sometimes our minds are just too tired/stressed to be in a space to talk. This is when I turn on worship, get up and move around or read first. Understand this is not just you; it is by the power of the Holy Spirit, infusing your imagination to meet with your creator. So, allow Him to talk, give Him space to woo you and wow you. If God sounds like you, this is great! You were created in HIS image; of course, you will sound like him (and vice versa).
If you feel distracted by the things of that day, talk to Jesus about that! Don’t discredit your mind for wandering; sometimes, the most profound conversations I’ve had with Jesus were from my mind’s wanderings. What if those wanderings were actual purposeful points the Holy Spirit was trying to draw out? Remember, there are no rules or “have to’s.” The point is connection and for your heart’s longings to be fully met in him.
I would love for this blog to become a space to share our experiences, triumphs and questions. When I began this journey, one incredibly beneficial thing was having others in my life who already practiced imaginative prayer. I would go to them with questions, “What if it hasn’t worked the past few days – what am I doing wrong?” or “I don’t seem to have any talking points – what should I do?” Having others to help you in your struggles sometimes allows us to get out of the fog in our heads. Please feel welcome to post your questions/experiences down below if you feel comfortable. If you try this type of prayer and it encourages you, share it! It might spur on another person. If you’re wondering about something I haven’t shared yet, ask below too! I bet someone else is wondering the same thing. From the messages I’ve received already, people are hungry for more of God. Let us dive into His presence together and be fed by Him!
Merry Christmas friends,
-Bree
